Free-range parenting

[Good Knight Sweetheart]

I never heard this term until I read this article. Parents let their kids go outside to play in the local park. Nosy neighbors see the kids walking home without an adult; call the police. DCF (or whatever) investigate and threaten to take the kids away.

Remember as a kid, mom would tell you to go outside and play somewhere, just be home by "street light". (And we kids didn't have cell phones to call them.)
Apparently now, that is neglectful. This is probably why we have so many helicopter parents who monitor every single moment of their kids' lives.


Parenting

 

[Game_Day_Sports]

It depends on where you live. Lots more bad stuff that can happen to a kid now than when we were kids. Or as parents we are made far more aware of it. I used to ride my bike all through town at age 12. I can remember going to the beach with my buddies in Vero which was about 7 miles from the house. I called my dad from the beach to give us a ride or we rode to his office because it was raining out and we didn't want to ride all of the way home in the rain.

My daughter is now that age and I wouldn't think about letting her ride 7 miles by herself. Of course with how bad people in Orlando drive, I wouldn't suggest anybody ride a bicycle 7 miles around here.

 

[Good Knight Sweetheart]

Originally posted by Game_Day_Sports:
It depends on where you live. Lots more bad stuff that can happen to a kid now than when we were kids. Or as parents we are made far more aware of it. I used to ride my bike all through town at age 12. I can remember going to the beach with my buddies in Vero which was about 7 miles from the house. I called my dad from the beach to give us a ride or we rode to his office because it was raining out and we didn't want to ride all of the way home in the rain.

My daughter is now that age and I wouldn't think about letting her ride 7 miles by herself. Of course with how bad people in Orlando drive, I wouldn't suggest anybody ride a bicycle 7 miles around here.

Well, 7 miles might a bit too far....but if the local park is 1/2 mile away, why not? If you've walked that path with your kid and raised them to make good decisions (i.e. don't get in a van; there is no puppy; grownups don't ask kids for directions), why not let them go play?
I've seen a couple of kids wandering around our complex, either riding bikes or sitting on a stairwell. I don't know where they live. They could live in the complex next door. It would never occur to me to call the police if the kids are behaving.

 

[KnightedIbis]

Originally posted by Good Knight Sweetheart:

I never heard this term until I read this article. Parents let their kids go outside to play in the local park. Nosy neighbors see the kids walking home without an adult; call the police. DCF (or whatever) investigate and threaten to take the kids away.

Remember as a kid, mom would tell you to go outside and play somewhere, just be home by "street light". (And we kids didn't have cell phones to call them.)
Apparently now, that is neglectful. This is probably why we have so many helicopter parents who monitor every single moment of their kids' lives.

This is how they roll in Switzerland. Granted its a lot more safe in general.

I can understand having certain limitations, but they should be ones that make sense.

I'll never forget my first night in my new place over there, an eight year old girl (10 max) was walking her five year old brother home at like 9:30pm. I nearly shit myself.

 

[KnightedIbis]

Originally posted by Good Knight Sweetheart:


Well, 7 miles might a bit too far....but if the local park is 1/2 mile away, why not? If you've walked that path with your kid and raised them to make good decisions (i.e. don't get in a van; there is no puppy; grownups don't ask kids for directions), why not let them go play?
I've seen a couple of kids wandering around our complex, either riding bikes or sitting on a stairwell. I don't know where they live. They could live in the complex next door. It would never occur to me to call the police if the kids are behaving.

The flip side of this is of course the 1 in a multiple million stories like that little Jewish boy that got taken and killed/raped in Brooklyn (I think) a year or two ago. He was like six or something and begged for his parents to let him walk to school alone. They finally did, he was all proud - then that shit happens.

 

[Good Knight Sweetheart]

Originally posted by KnightedIbis:

Originally posted by Good Knight Sweetheart:


Well, 7 miles might a bit too far....but if the local park is 1/2 mile away, why not? If you've walked that path with your kid and raised them to make good decisions (i.e. don't get in a van; there is no puppy; grownups don't ask kids for directions), why not let them go play?
I've seen a couple of kids wandering around our complex, either riding bikes or sitting on a stairwell. I don't know where they live. They could live in the complex next door. It would never occur to me to call the police if the kids are behaving.

The flip side of this is of course the 1 in a multiple million stories like that little Jewish boy that got taken and killed/raped in Brooklyn (I think) a year or two ago. He was like six or something and begged for his parents to let him walk to school alone. They finally did, he was all proud - then that shit happens.

And that's how we all get fed the fear that leaving your child unsupervised for even one second will mean they will be snatched and killed.
Thousands of kids play outside of adult supervision every day and don't have anything bad happen. When we were kids, we were taught ways to keep ourselves safe. Yes, stuff CAN happen...doesn't mean it will.
Heck, one of us from this board could get kidnapped and killed, and most of us are adults with common sense.

 

[knightalum74]

Originally posted by Game_Day_Sports:
Lots more bad stuff that can happen to a kid now than when we were kids.

This statement is what I question. I don't have any validated facts, but I would like to know this, or is this something we just think is the case. Interestingly, I just did a quick Google Search and that site just came up.

Free Range Kids & Crime Stats

 

[jetsaholic]

This is why I don't have kids, because everybody in today's society has the ability of educating and raising your kid but you.

My kids would be free reign and the would get slapped around.


This post was edited on 4/16 5:59 PM by jetsaholic

 

[Game_Day_Sports]

Originally posted by knightalum74:

Originally posted by Game_Day_Sports:
Lots more bad stuff that can happen to a kid now than when we were kids.

This statement is what I question. I don't have any validated facts, but I would like to know this, or is this something we just think is the case. Interestingly, I just did a quick Google Search and that site just came up.

That is why I prefaced that statement with " Or as parents we are made far more aware of it."

I wouldn't trust stats from a web site that so blatantly has an agenda like that one nor would I trust facts from the other pole either.

Stats can always be manipulated to your own case. The reality is that I think more people are centralized in metro areas which means that the bad guys can hunt in smaller target areas to achieve their goals. When I grew up in Vero Beach, it was population like 10,000. If there was a guy touching kids, he wasn't arrested, he just disappeared.

Plus in those 7 miles, I would wave to probably 15 people that I knew along the way. Small towns were personal. You knew lots of people and lots of people knew you.

In a smaller way, when we go to the hockey rink I don't really care what my son does. He is 7 and I know he won't misbehave and if he does, there are any number of people to tell him to chill out. By the same token, if he is leaving the building without me by his side, they are going to step up and say something. That is how Vero was when I was growing up.

 

[crambone]

I grew up in Springfield, MO and my brother and I were allowed to roam free for the entire day. My dad had a whistle that he would blow three times from the front porch. If we weren't home within 5 minutes of that whistle there would be bad consequences for the both of us. Needless to say, we never went further than we knew we could hear the whistle and we were always home on time.

 

[ucfclay]

I too grew up with the guideline of be home for dinner. I was gone all day riding my bike all over. The worst part about this story is that someone's first thought when they saw them was to call 911! Why would you call 911? If you were concerned about them then just ask if they are lost or ok. The people whose first reaction is to call police have serious issues with their lives.

 

[goodknightfl]

Bad stuff always happened to kids, it isn't worse today. We hear more horror stories today, and now live in a nanny state.
As a kid during the summer, we basically left the house at 8 am and came home at 4 in time for dinner. We roughly had a 7 mile range where we could go. If we were going out with our Jon boat, we had to let mom know and where we were going to fish. Heck we used to cross New found Harbor with the boat and visit my grand parents on the other side. We didn't run like that at age 6 or 7 but even then would with permission go to friends house 1/4 to 1/2 mile away to play.

 

[sk8knight]

Originally posted by ucfclay:
I too grew up with the guideline of be home for dinner. I was gone all day riding my bike all over. The worst part about this story is that someone's first thought when they saw them was to call 911! Why would you call 911? If you were concerned about them then just ask if they are lost or ok. The people whose first reaction is to call police have serious issues with their lives.

They don't have serious issues, they're just doing as they're told. Nowadays, you're advised to call the police for everything that is out of the ordinary. It's just a lot easier to dial 911 or not get involved than to risk the liability of getting involved.

We can thank John Walsh for a lot of this.

 

[goodknightfl]

A lot of freedom has been lost to the 24/7 news cycle. Go back to the 60's or early 70's there was no cable, nor cnn. Most people had 2 or 3 of the networks, and maybe an PBS and an independent channel. News was on from 6 to 7 pm. A local child got raped, or murdered it might make the local news. A kid in Calif gets raped or kidnapped maybe it makes their local news, people in Calif don't hear about a kid in Fla and people in Florida don't hear about the calif kid. Today you hear gruesome tales of both, plus 3 more kids somewhere else. That makes it seem worse than it is.

 

[CommuterBob]

This is absurd. This is the over-reaching CPS and all of their awful power making a legal interpretation of the law with actual legal consequences without having to go through the courts (and it's seemingly indefensible), and the threats made by CPS if these parents didn't sign forms without their lawyer. They're worse than the cops.

 

[CommuterBob]

"Since 1993, the number of children younger than 14 who are murdered is down by 36 percent. Among children ages 14 to 17, murders are down 60 percent. Fewer than 1 percent of missing children are abducted by strangers or even slight acquaintances, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/why-are-we-criminalizing-childhood-independence/2015/01/15/bf9da446-9ccb-11e4-a7ee-526210d665b4_story.html

"The truth is, child abductions by strangers are as rare as alien abductions. Maybe not that. But they are much rarer than car accidents. Putting your child in a car is the most dangerous thing you do every day. That’s true. About 300 children a day are injured in car accidents. An average of three kids a day are killed while riding in a car. Would we argue that’s child neglect, because parents should know the risks of the road?"

This post was edited on 4/17 9:04 AM by CommuterBob

 

[Colbourns Dream]

Originally posted by CommuterBob:

"Since 1993, the number of children younger than 14 who are murdered is down by 36 percent. Among children ages 14 to 17, murders are down 60 percent. Fewer than 1 percent of missing children are abducted by strangers or even slight acquaintances, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/why-are-we-criminalizing-childhood-independence/2015/01/15/bf9da446-9ccb-11e4-a7ee-526210d665b4_story.html

"The truth is, child abductions by strangers are as rare as alien abductions. Maybe not that. But they are much rarer than car accidents. Putting your child in a car is the most dangerous thing you do every day. That's true. About 300 children a day are injured in car accidents. An average of three kids a day are killed while riding in a car. Would we argue that's child neglect, because parents should know the risks of the road?"


This post was edited on 4/17 9:04 AM by CommuterBob

Is this because society has become kinder and gentler, or because parents are more protective of their children?

 

[goodknightfl]

Originally posted by Chevelle67:

Originally posted by CommuterBob:

"Since 1993, the number of children younger than 14 who are murdered is down by 36 percent. Among children ages 14 to 17, murders are down 60 percent. Fewer than 1 percent of missing children "


This post was edited on 4/17 9:04 AM by CommuterBob

Is this because society has become kinder and gentler, or because parents are more protective of their children?

It is likely down because we are protective of kids. But the point is the danger never was nor still is big. The question is, Is the somewhat better safety record worth what the kids have lost?? ie the freedom, to live, learn and grow.

 

[Good Knight Sweetheart]

Originally posted by CommuterBob:

"Since 1993, the number of children younger than 14 who are murdered is down by 36 percent. Among children ages 14 to 17, murders are down 60 percent. Fewer than 1 percent of missing children are abducted by strangers or even slight acquaintances, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/why-are-we-criminalizing-childhood-independence/2015/01/15/bf9da446-9ccb-11e4-a7ee-526210d665b4_story.html

"The truth is, child abductions by strangers are as rare as alien abductions. Maybe not that. But they are much rarer than car accidents. Putting your child in a car is the most dangerous thing you do every day. That's true. About 300 children a day are injured in car accidents. An average of three kids a day are killed while riding in a car. Would we argue that's child neglect, because parents should know the risks of the road?"


This post was edited on 4/17 9:04 AM by CommuterBob

And I believe statistics show that kids are several times more likely to be killed by a parent or other immediate family member.