Orlando, Fl : In an early afternoon press conference, UCF head coach Gus Malzahn said he was stepping away from
coaching. “It’s time”, Malzahn said, “ something I have been thinking a lot about in recent weeks”. Asked by reporters if there
was a catalyst to his decision, Malzahn grinned and said, “yeh, losing sucks and we have been doing way too much
of it”. Then, on a more serious note note he went on to say that several things factored into his decision.
“It took our medical team several hours to extract Kyle Whiitingham’s shoe from my lower orifice after last night’s game, and
that is a weekly procedure I will certainly not miss. Secondly, I am up to 3 bourbons and a quart of Hagen-Daz a day trying
to deal with all the stress and it’s taking a toll on my health. He went on to say, “and you have media guys like Trace Trylko,
Christian Simmons, and UCF Mike always peeing in my cereal, it’s just the right time for me to move on and let another
staff come in and try to placate the lunatic fringe, I mean, our devoted fans.
Asked about his immediate plans, Malzahn replied, “have you seen my wedge game? horrendous. I’m never going to break 100
at present. This will give me time to work on my game. I’m tired of being confused with Charles Barkley at the Pro-Ams I
play.
coaching. “It’s time”, Malzahn said, “ something I have been thinking a lot about in recent weeks”. Asked by reporters if there
was a catalyst to his decision, Malzahn grinned and said, “yeh, losing sucks and we have been doing way too much
of it”. Then, on a more serious note note he went on to say that several things factored into his decision.
“It took our medical team several hours to extract Kyle Whiitingham’s shoe from my lower orifice after last night’s game, and
that is a weekly procedure I will certainly not miss. Secondly, I am up to 3 bourbons and a quart of Hagen-Daz a day trying
to deal with all the stress and it’s taking a toll on my health. He went on to say, “and you have media guys like Trace Trylko,
Christian Simmons, and UCF Mike always peeing in my cereal, it’s just the right time for me to move on and let another
staff come in and try to placate the lunatic fringe, I mean, our devoted fans.
Asked about his immediate plans, Malzahn replied, “have you seen my wedge game? horrendous. I’m never going to break 100
at present. This will give me time to work on my game. I’m tired of being confused with Charles Barkley at the Pro-Ams I
play.
