Men only care about one thing!!

[YouSeeEffer]

Actually, two. Sex and boobs!

I have a question that is only appropriate for the cooler. Let me tell you why this question arises.

Today I had a massage at a place in Winter Park. I usually don't tell them that I have a preference for male/female massage therapist. I've always ended up with a female just by chance. Today, I ended up with my first male massage therapist! He was around the same age and height as me. Whatever. It's just work for him, right? To my surprise I was soooo uncomfortable the whole time. When he lifted my arms to massage them I totally figured he would be looking for some side boob, and when he was massaging my back I swear that his package kept hitting me in the head. Who knows what he was thinking about when he had his hands all over. Everything was very routine and I'm sure everything was concocted in my head.

So, given my theory that dudes only have sex and boobs on their mind ALL the time-- how does a male in a profession that involves seeing half naked females separate his urges? If a male massage therapist is rubbing down Kate Upton compared to my grandma-- are they going to have different thoughts going through their head?

 

[Happy Hands]

Boobs are a subset of sex, or, at least, no man wants boobs apart from sex except babies and bra designers. We also want women to be quiet. And beer. We want beer. So that's three things.

I've never rubbed down Kate Upton or a grandma, so I can't say for sure they are completely different experiences. However, I imagine that most male masseuses enjoy massaging attractive women more than flabby oldies, but it is also probably awkward for them too. His poor package had nowhere to hide.

Side question: was he aroused or just flacidly palming your uppers and such?

 

[UCFRogerz]

Kept hitting me right in the throat! Dammit!

 

[YouSeeEffer]

Side question: was he aroused or just flacidly palming your uppers and such?

I'm not sure, I was trying to block it out-- but the odds are that if I felt a bulge there was something going on down there.

Side question for you: your handle is Happy Hands and you've never massaged Kate Upton? Or a grandma?

 

[HAL 9100]

If a male massage therapist is rubbing down Kate Upton compared to my grandma-- are they going to have different thoughts going through their head?

Probably, but both would be better than massaging any guy.

Conclusion: Probably gay.

 

[barrister1602]

 

[UCFKnight85]

In guessing he couldn't work in that job if he was massaging women and constantly pitching a tent in their face.

 

[KnighttimeJoe]

What about a male gynecologist? I've always wondered about that. I had to take my wife to her appointment once and was sitting in the waiting room. There were a couple of hotties in there and then three Fatty McFatties waddled in. I can't imagine they had the physical skills to wash themselves appropriately or wipe their asses thoroughly and I'm sure they smelled especially pleasant "down there" where they sweat out all their french fries and chicken grease. What goes through doc's mind at that point in time? I'm sure it's not getting a little pickle tickle.

 

[Good Knight Sweetheart]

You can request a female massage therapist.
That said, I would hope that any massage therapist can separate the processes of the job from the physical attractiveness of the clients.

.

 

[fabknight]

What about a male gynecologist? I've always wondered about that. I had to take my wife to her appointment once and was sitting in the waiting room. There were a couple of hotties in there and then three Fatty McFatties waddled in. I can't imagine they had the physical skills to wash themselves appropriately or wipe their asses thoroughly and I'm sure they smelled especially pleasant "down there" where they sweat out all their french fries and chicken grease. What goes through doc's mind at that point in time? I'm sure it's not getting a little pickle tickle.

LOL. Sorry to change topic but my wife worked at a gyn office when the kids were young and she'd come home with some nasty stories, especially about the fatties...roaches crawling out from underneath big ol' saggy tits and stuff. Another thing, her stories are the reason I can't eat cottage cheese.

 

[KnighttimeJoe]

LOL. Sorry to change topic but my wife worked at a gyn office when the kids were young and she'd come home with some nasty stories, especially about the fatties...roaches crawling out from underneath big ol' saggy tits and stuff. Another thing, her stories are the reason I can't eat cottage cheese.

 

[barrister1602]

, I would hope that any massage therapist can separate the processes of the job from the physical attractiveness of the clients
.

I couldnt.

 

[UCFKnight85]

I couldnt.

Your clients would always be wondering why they only feel one hand massaging them.

 

[cnsaguy]

Please post pics of side boob so we get an assessment of what he saw.

 

[USFSucks]

I mean, he's just doing his job, but that doesn't mean he might not be aroused.

 

[Bob the Citronaut]

#bonerslivematter

 

[jetsaholic]

So did he offer a happy ending?

 

[UCFWayne]

So did he offer a happy ending?

 

[LittleMissKnight]

I have friends that are massage therapists and they said for every hot person, there are a dozen unattractive/old/unhygienic/annoying people they have to massage so they become mostly desensitized to the sexual aspect of it. That and they can't risk being fired for being inappropriate because word travels and you'll have to find a new profession.

 

[jetsaholic]

I have friends that are massage therapists and they said for every hot person, there are a dozen unattractive/old/unhygienic/annoying people they have to massage so they become mostly desensitized to the sexual aspect of it. That and they can't risk being fired for being inappropriate because word travels and you'll have to find a new profession.

So have they offered you a happy ending?

 

[barrister1602]

I have friends that are massage therapists

pics or GTFO

 

[LittleMissKnight]

pics or GTFO

male friends. so if you still want pictures....

 

[barrister1602]

 

[barrister1602]

male friends. so if you still want pictures....

 

[brahmanknight]

LOL. Sorry to change topic but my wife worked at a gyn office when the kids were young and she'd come home with some nasty stories, especially about the fatties...roaches crawling out from underneath big ol' saggy tits and stuff. Another thing, her stories are the reason I can't eat cottage cheese.

You understand you are now obligated to share two or three of these stories with us now, right?

 

[UCF11and1]

You understand you are now obligated to share two or three of these stories with us now, right?

After the stories at the beginning, LMK has not shared anything good here for a while

 

[fabknight]

You understand you are now obligated to share two or three of these stories with us now, right?

I gag just thinking about it. Let your imagination run wild and that even won't do it justice...roaches and cottage cheese should be enough.

 

[jetsaholic]

After the stories at the beginning, LMK has not shared anything good here for a while

That's because they've evolved into the German shit porn type stuff. We don't need to know about that now, do we?

Ok, we do, I just just teasing.

 

[Boston.Knight]

I swear that his package kept hitting me in the head.

Ewwwahh. Too much info. He was smacking you upside the head with his schlong? Did he have those big baggy MC Hammer pants on for some good velocity?