Portland area man's death directly linked to THC consumption

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by UCFEE, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. UCFEE

    UCFEE Silver Knight
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    Portland-Area Man's Death Directly Linked to THC Consumption

    BEAVERDALE, OR - A Beaverdale man's death has been directly linked to THC consumption. Bryce Mulane was initially believed by police to have died from choking on angel hair pasta, but recent autopsy results point to a different culprit.

    "The victim was found to have very large quantities of THC in the bloodstream" explains Butts County medical examiner Roger Wootly "This chemical's effect on the brain lead the victim to attempt to consume an entire box of angel hair pasta in a single bite without adequate mastication. This behavior was found to be directly linked to the THC level in the body."

    If the medical examiner's findings are confirmed, Mulane will be the first known death directly as a result of Oregon's recent legalization of recreational marijuana. The ramifications of this result could be far reaching in terms of regulation of the newly created cannabis industry. One state legislator recently indicated "The legislation is in progress to ensure that every micro-gram of recreational cannabis is tracked from seed to consumption."

    This statement has some privacy and civil rights groups worried that government will attempt to overstep its legal authority to track and locate its citizens. If signed in to law, the ACLU plans to sue the state on constitutional grounds. Both parties are ready to take the battle to the highest court in the land if needed.

    - Maria Topenbauer contributed to this report. She can be reached at mopenbauer@theevergreen.net.

    This post was edited on 1/16 9:03 PM by UCFEE
     
  2. EweSeaEff

    EweSeaEff Diamond Knight
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    Did you make the whole story up? The Evergreen URL at the bottom returns an error and searching for key terms throughout the story doesn't produce any results.
     
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  3. Bob the Citronaut

    Bob the Citronaut Todd's Tiki Bar
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    This is the second story he's made up.
    Posted from Rivals Mobile
     
  4. UCFEE

    UCFEE Silver Knight
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    Actually, adequate mastication is a serious issue in states which have legalized cannabis. One argument for legalizing at the federal level would be to allow the surgeon general to place warnings on marijuana packaging to remind consumers to chew their food.
     
  5. KnighttimeJoe

    KnighttimeJoe Diamond Knight
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    The Cooler is such a shadow of what it used to be with shit posters like EE and barrister shitting all over the place.
     
  6. YouSeeEffer

    YouSeeEffer Golden Knight
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    Maybe he wasn't wearing his dentures?
     
  7. UCFKnight85

    UCFKnight85 GOL's Inner Circle
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    [​IMG]
     
  8. UCFEE

    UCFEE Silver Knight
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    I've been leading the charge to make the federal government put warning stickers on guns to inform people that they should not pull the trigger while looking inside the barrel. But tell me again how I have no life.
     
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  9. KnighttimeJoe

    KnighttimeJoe Diamond Knight
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    dupe

    This post was edited on 1/17 11:24 AM by KnighttimeJoe
     
  10. ChrisKnight06

    ChrisKnight06 Todd's Tiki Bar
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    This thread made me laugh. Perfect read while taking a shit after my 3 Chick Fila chicken biscuits. Don't worry, I chewed adequately.
    Posted from Rivals Mobile
     
  11. 1ofTheseKnights

    1ofTheseKnights Todd's Tiki Bar
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  12. YourWifesBoyfriend

    YourWifesBoyfriend Four-Star Recruit
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    weed is for degenerates
     
  13. ChrisKnight06

    ChrisKnight06 Todd's Tiki Bar
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    :cry:
     
  14. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Read this thread twice. All i can think is "what in the holy hell was that all about?"
     
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  15. goodknightfl

    goodknightfl Todd's Tiki Bar
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    All states have adequate masturbation issues.
     
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  16. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    You just won the internet for today.
     
  17. UCFKnight85

    UCFKnight85 GOL's Inner Circle
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    What’s going on here?
     
  18. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Dude, do you even science?
     
  19. NinjaKnight

    NinjaKnight Todd's Tiki Bar
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    This thread is the only thing that needs to be presented the next time the "should we nuke the cooler debate" arises.
     
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  20. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Agreed. This thread proves that the cooler should never die.
     
  21. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Just for the hell of it, we should turn this thread into a discussion about whether or not GOT writers support the Alabama abortion bill. I say they do because clearly all of them are retarded racist inbreds who suck trumps weiner while claiming that a kid who smirked at a native american drummer is worse than Kavanaugh forming a rape gang, and at the same time they call every Catholic a pedophile who listens to Alex Jones. God, I frigging hate CNN.
     
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  22. DaShuckster

    DaShuckster Bronze Knight
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    Upon further review, you only get half a 'like' from me.

    You had me until "kid who smirked."
     
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  23. NinjaKnight

    NinjaKnight Todd's Tiki Bar
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    It is always interesting to me how two supposedly intelligent people can take the same input and arrive at two vastly different conclusions.
     
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  24. UCFKnight85

    UCFKnight85 GOL's Inner Circle
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    The last time EE posted was Jan 1 2018 to kiss Scott Frost's ass.
     
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  25. KnighttimeJoe

    KnighttimeJoe Diamond Knight
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    Huh? What am I missing?
     
  26. NinjaKnight

    NinjaKnight Todd's Tiki Bar
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    This post needs revisiting.

    Is it satire? Is he trying to make a weird "don't touch my red stapler from office space" style joke? Does it require such a high level of intellect to comprehend that no one in the cooler will ever get it.

    Or is he actually serious?
     
  27. DaShuckster

    DaShuckster Bronze Knight
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    or perhaps, it's your basic, plain ol', garden-variety style of message board sarcasm.
    I like this EE guy already!!! [thumb2]
     
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  28. UCFKnight85

    UCFKnight85 GOL's Inner Circle
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    Oh boy. I checked the Denver UCF alumni page and there’s a post on there suggesting EE actually did pass away recently.

    RIP. Coke apparently knew hence his gif
     
  29. 1ofTheseKnights

    1ofTheseKnights Todd's Tiki Bar
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    EE has gone to the great WC in the sky. Couldn’t stand his posts, but RIP. Gone too soon.
     
  30. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    I say this too much, but holy crap this is the best thread ever. The only thing missing is a jackass from Indiana telling me how to live my life.
     
  31. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Thank you for admitting that I am intelligent. Who is the other person?
     
  32. NinjaKnight

    NinjaKnight Todd's Tiki Bar
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    I take back anything nice I may have inadvertently said about you.
     
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  33. 1ofTheseKnights

    1ofTheseKnights Todd's Tiki Bar
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    Cringe disclaimer,

    Perhaps EE’s mother made her choice. Her body afterall...
     
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  34. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Holy crap. I feel bad about this but I have to give that an upvote.

    On another note, I'm just glad that I'm not the only person out there who crosses lines that would make jesus cry.
     
  35. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    Lol. Everybody on this board knows that you know that I know that you're an inbred racist, so shove it. Just the thought of your stupid face makes me wish i was born with more fists.
     
  36. NinjaKnight

    NinjaKnight Todd's Tiki Bar
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    Sorry that the whole inbreeding thing only left you with 3 fists, maybe next time you'll reincarnate as an Alabama baby instead of Nebraska, and you'll win the genetic lottery and have 4.
     
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  37. ChrisKnight06

    ChrisKnight06 Todd's Tiki Bar
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  38. Crazyhole

    Crazyhole Silver Knight
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    See, i knew you were capable of providing something of substance to the board. You're still a terrible person and nobody loves you, but at least now I know theres hope.
     
  39. UCFWayne

    UCFWayne Diamond Knight
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    woah ee died?
     
  40. ChrisKnight06

    ChrisKnight06 Todd's Tiki Bar
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    Yes
     

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