Thread About Being Gay

[bqknight]

Aight, so yes, I’ve been drinking. But I want to address this. I’ve been around here for awhile.

I honestly don’t think some of y’all get it. I will gladly admit, I have always grown up with a very supportive family. My mother had tons of gay friends through my childhood.

Even then, coming out was SCARY. My mom said she was okay. But she wasn’t. You could tell, both my parents struggled. If I had to go through that, I could barely imagine what others must go through.

That’s why we gays celebrate, that’s why get so up in arms over things. I’m not saying I have it even close to the worst in this world (I love my life now) but being gay is hard.

-BQ

 

[Happy Hands]

I would think the hardest thing about being gay is having to pretend I like Madonna or Wendy Williams. Two incomes, no kids, hanging out with a dude and playing video games or watching sports all day, fart and nobody cares, get to scream whenever you want, get to order manhattans or cosmos and nobody judges you, allowed to dress like a vampire or 17th century duke, can be as mean as you want as long as you have that affectation, you don't have to hear about your wife's day or what she is thinking or her talking at all.

Just two dudes sitting in silence, drinking beer until it's time to setup a fake wrestling ring. I guess the speedos would be rough but once you pin the other dude with a three count you've already won top for the night so you don't need them anymore.

 

[ucfversusbcs]

I would think the hardest thing about being gay is having to pretend I like Madonna or Wendy Williams. Two incomes, no kids, hanging out with a dude and playing video games or watching sports all day, fart and nobody cares, get to scream whenever you want, get to order manhattans or cosmos and nobody judges you, allowed to dress like a vampire or 17th century duke, can be as mean as you want as long as you have that affectation, you don't have to hear about your wife's day or what she is thinking or her talking at all.

Just two dudes sitting in silence, drinking beer until it's time to setup a fake wrestling ring. I guess the speedos would be rough but once you pin the other dude with a three count you've already won top for the night so you don't need them anymore.

Congrats for not beating someone to death that is LGBTQ.

 

[Sir Galahad]

I’ve never understood the hatred towards gay people. I will admit the militant, in your face gay people annoy me but then it’s not so much the gay part of that but the in your face part. I think the whole pride thing is a over the top but I’ve always lived by the rule of, if it’s not illegal(don’t care about ignorant old religious laws) and doesn’t involve kids, have at it.

Our circle of friends will be on a friends Boat next week for Gasparilla who was married for 15 years, has a son and came out gay about 10 years ago.

 

[Crazyhole]

I’ve never understood the hatred towards gay people. I will admit the militant, in your face gay people annoy me but then it’s not so much the gay part of that but the in your face part. I think the whole pride thing is a over the top but I’ve always lived by the rule of, if it’s not illegal(don’t care about ignorant old religious laws) and doesn’t involve kids, have at it.

Our circle of friends will be on a friends Boat next week for Gasparilla who was married for 15 years, has a son and came out gay about 10 years ago.

I think the hatred is a bit overblown. I've got friends who are gay and it never occurred to me that I should hate them or anyone else for it. I can't say that I'm a fan of the gay-pride parades where people dress in ways that have nothing to do with what's in their heart and everything to do with fetish, it just seems unnecessary.

I'm very appreciate of how open BQ is to talk about the issue and not become belligerent or automatically be offended by someone who talks about the issue from a different viewpoint. In general I think most here do an ok job of that quite honestly, but BQ stays very calm about an issue that more directly affects him than any of the rest of us. So props to you and I hope you realize that there are very very few people out there that hate you for being gay.

 

[ChrisKnight06]

 

[DaShuckster]

I’ve never understood the hatred towards gay people.

Until the 1970s, homosexuality was feared and considered an 'abnormality.' Given that, it's no wonder that same-gender love was considered a sin by the ancient writers of the Bible.

However, over the last 50 years, we've learned more about human sexuality in general, and homosexuality in particular, than we have over all of previous years of human existence combined. With this wealth of new information has come a better understanding which has led to a dramatic change of attitude for most people.

But not everybody. Third world countries, Russia, Eastern Europe, and parts of rural America are the notable exceptions to the rule. Even the most conservative of all world institutions - our churches - are slowly, but surely, understanding their hypocrisy when they hide behind scripture to proclaim homosexuality is still 'a sin.'

 

[fried-chicken]

Even in this thread people are saying "I don't mind the gays but I hate it when they have parades."

Why do you guys even care? Get your shit together chuds, you're embarrassing.

 

[Crazyhole]

Even in this thread people are saying "I don't mind the gays but I hate it when they have parades."

Why do you guys even care? Get your shit together chuds, you're embarrassing.

You're embarrassing yourself, not me. I have no problem with gay pride parades. I just dont think it sends the appropriate message to the world to call it a gay pride parade when the focus of it is people wearing assless chaps and ball-gags and equating that to homosexuality. Guys like BQ give a much better representation of homosexuality by depicting how it's about who he loves and the struggles he goes through than a guy who wants to show off his ass in public, creating the perception of homosexuality as being kinky fetish practices being what defines them.

 

[fried-chicken]

I just dont think it sends the appropriate message to the world to call it a gay pride parade when the focus of it is people wearing assless chaps and ball-gags and equating that to homosexuality.

It's none of your ****ing business.

 

[Crazyhole]

It's none of your ****ing business.

Is it your business?

 

[fried-chicken]

Is it your business?

Am I the one telling them how to act?

 

[Crazyhole]

Am I the one telling them how to act?

Nope, your criticizing me for stating an opinion which basically means you're telling me how to act. Typical fascist behavior. Nudge, then push, then shoot, right?

If gay people want to be presented the way that San Francisco pride parades do, then go for it. Doesnt change me or my life at all. I find it hard to believe that it's how most homosexuals want to be portrayed but that's their deal. I'll have my opinion and they'll have theirs and we all go about our lives because it doesnt matter what any of us think.

 

[ucflee]

Aight, so yes, I’ve been drinking. But I want to address this. I’ve been around here for awhile.

I honestly don’t think some of y’all get it. I will gladly admit, I have always grown up with a very supportive family. My mother had tons of gay friends through my childhood.

Even then, coming out was SCARY. My mom said she was okay. But she wasn’t. You could tell, both my parents struggled. If I had to go through that, I could barely imagine what others must go through.

That’s why we gays celebrate, that’s why get so up in arms over things. I’m not saying I have it even close to the worst in this world (I love my life now) but being gay is hard.

-BQ

If being gay is so hard, why not choose to not be gay?*

 

[Crazyhole]

If being gay is so hard, why not choose to not be gay?*

No important decisions in life are easy nor should they be. Bq made an important decision to come out as being gay which he said was hard. If he were to make the decision to become straight it would be equally hard. Dont act as though it's no big deal either way even if you're trying to be sarcastic.

 

[BillClintonsTheRapist]

Who cares

 

[bqknight]

You're embarrassing yourself, not me. I have no problem with gay pride parades. I just dont think it sends the appropriate message to the world to call it a gay pride parade when the focus of it is people wearing assless chaps and ball-gags and equating that to homosexuality. Guys like BQ give a much better representation of homosexuality by depicting how it's about who he loves and the struggles he goes through than a guy who wants to show off his ass in public, creating the perception of homosexuality as being kinky fetish practices being what defines them.

Just an FYI - I LOVE pride parades. They're tons of fun and there are just as many straight people there as gay people. I'm going to assume you've never been to one. There are very few pride parades that go to the extreme you're talking about. Parades like Folsom (in San Franscisco) do - but that festival is specifically a fetish type festival and you won't find children there.

Let's take Orlando's for example. You'll see drag queens, shirtless guys, guys in speedos and a whole bunch of rainbow - but what's wrong with that?

Do you have an issue with events that have girls in bikinis? What about sporting events where guys and girls alike get WASTED and do much trashier things than I've seen at a pride fest.

The point of pride fests is to have a good time and let people do what they want - because for so long LGBT were NOT able to do what they want. They had to hide. Some still do.

I’ve never understood the hatred towards gay people. I will admit the militant, in your face gay people annoy me but then it’s not so much the gay part of that but the in your face part.

There are militant people of every type. I don't care for the militant in your face gay people, just like I don't care for the militant in your face religious people. Extreme is bad in pretty much every case.

 

[Crazyhole]

Just an FYI - I LOVE pride parades. They're tons of fun and there are just as many straight people there as gay people. I'm going to assume you've never been to one. There are very few pride parades that go to the extreme you're talking about. Parades like Folsom (in San Franscisco) do - but that festival is specifically a fetish type festival and you won't find children there.

Let's take Orlando's for example. You'll see drag queens, shirtless guys, guys in speedos and a whole bunch of rainbow - but what's wrong with that?

Do you have an issue with events that have girls in bikinis? What about sporting events where guys and girls alike get WASTED and do much trashier things than I've seen at a pride fest.

The point of pride fests is to have a good time and let people do what they want - because for so long LGBT were NOT able to do what they want. They had to hide. Some still do.



There are militant people of every type. I don't care for the militant in your face gay people, just like I don't care for the militant in your face religious people. Extreme is bad in pretty much every case.

I have no problem with parades that dont pigeon-hole an entire segment of a population into a very specific category . Obviously I'm talking about the pride parades that we've seen in San Francisco and Phoenix for years that had way more to do with fetish than homosexuality. No, I've never been to a pride parade in orlando and I'm sure that because of the fact that they aren't the same thing they dont get the same kind of publicity.


Chicks in bikinis? Meh. Nice to look at but can't say it sends a very good signal for what a relationahip should be about and is a good representation of anything quite honestly. Then again, those things aren't labeled as being straight pride either, it's more about sex than anything.

 

[Jedi.Knight]

This thread is stupid ... and gay.

 

[bqknight]

I have no problem with parades that dont pigeon-hole an entire segment of a population into a very specific category . Obviously I'm talking about the pride parades that we've seen in San Francisco and Phoenix for years that had way more to do with fetish than homosexuality. No, I've never been to a pride parade in orlando and I'm sure that because of the fact that they aren't the same thing they dont get the same kind of publicity.


Chicks in bikinis? Meh. Nice to look at but can't say it sends a very good signal for what a relationahip should be about and is a good representation of anything quite honestly. Then again, those things aren't labeled as being straight pride either, it's more about sex than anything.

What parades are you referring to in Phoenix? San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair is most definitely fetish based but that’s well known and I actually think children aren’t allowed there. There’s a separate pride festival for the general public.

I’ve been to quite a few pride parades in cities all over the country and I’m honestly confused what you’re referring to. Are some people dressed up in a leather harness? Sure. It’s a small majority though. The whole point of the parade is for people who feel like they can’t express part of who they are to be allowed to. You’re showing pride in something you typically have to hide or tone down.

The vast majority of the actual parade is corporations, politicians, local LGBT groups and LGBT businesses.

Have you been to Gasparilla in Tampa? I’d be more worried to bring my kid there than a pride festival.

Im also confused about the chicks in bikinis statement. Do you think women who wear bikinis are a bad example of what a woman should be like?

 

[NinjaKnight]

Crasyhole still embarrassing himself. Pathetic.

 

[ucflee]

No important decisions in life are easy nor should they be. Bq made an important decision to come out as being gay which he said was hard. If he were to make the decision to become straight it would be equally hard. Dont act as though it's no big deal either way even if you're trying to be sarcastic.

Aren’t you the White night (you get no K here red)... but typical Nebraska fan thinking we couldn’t possibly have had history before one of your kind showed up.*

 

[Crazyhole]

What parades are you referring to in Phoenix? San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair is most definitely fetish based but that’s well known and I actually think children aren’t allowed there. There’s a separate pride festival for the general public.

I’ve been to quite a few pride parades in cities all over the country and I’m honestly confused what you’re referring to. Are some people dressed up in a leather harness? Sure. It’s a small majority though. The whole point of the parade is for people who feel like they can’t express part of who they are to be allowed to. You’re showing pride in something you typically have to hide or tone down.

The vast majority of the actual parade is corporations, politicians, local LGBT groups and LGBT businesses.

Have you been to Gasparilla in Tampa? I’d be more worried to bring my kid there than a pride festival.

Im also confused about the chicks in bikinis statement. Do you think women who wear bikinis are a bad example of what a woman should be like?

What they should be like? No, I just dont think that oversexualization is a good message to send to anyone. The act of sex and who we are physically attracted to is such a small part of our lives but practically defines us now. To me, it's almost like small talk: what do you do for a living? Why is that the first question many people ask when meeting someone new? My job doesnt define me, neither does my sexuality or the clothes I wear. It just seems so superficial but we allow ourselves to be defined by that.

As far as the parades go, again, I have no problem with people who want to do them. It's just my personal perception that being provocative like the San Francisco parades have been does a disservice to people who want to be looked at just like anyone else would be. Maybe that's the goal of the LGBT community though. To be looked at as being different and make people uncomfortable. It didnt used to seem that way, but I guess things change. As a christian I certainly wouldn't want people to put me in a box based on how the Westboro baptists act, or as a "white" guy I dont want to be lumped in with the white supremacists in Charlottesville, or as a straight guy be associated with people who cheat on their spouse. If I was Catholic I wouldn't want to be pigeonholed by the fringe who still think mass has to be conducted with the priest standing away from the congregation and only speak in Latin. I guess my point is that if the LGBT community wants to embrace ball-gags and assless chaps that's fine, but dont be surprised if a lot of people have that view of you and are disgusted by the whole group. It's just that for me personally, I would rather judge someone by what's in their heart, not what they do in the bedroom.

 

[Crazyhole]

Aren’t you the White night (you get no K here red)... but typical Nebraska fan thinking we couldn’t possibly have had history before one of your kind showed up.*

I have mixed heritage and am actually pretty dark complected. Why does it matter? Do you want to disregard my opinion because of the color of my skin?

 

[jt_knight]

I honestly don’t think some of y’all get it. I will gladly admit, I have always grown up with a very supportive family. My mother had tons of gay friends through my childhood.

Even then, coming out was SCARY. My mom said she was okay. But she wasn’t. You could tell, both my parents struggled. If I had to go through that, I could barely imagine what others must go through.

-BQ

Thanks for sharing. I'm curious, what do you think accounted for your mom having lots of gay friends yet at the same time, you perceiving that she wasn't okay with your decision to come out as someone who had a same sex attraction?

How sure are you that she really wasn't okay with it even though she said otherwise? Did your dad have the same approach? You think since that time your relationship with your mom and dad has improved for stagnated or even deteriorated?

You don't have to answer any of these questions. I realize they are very personal. But I want to better understand this subject and since you've been open about it already I figure I would ask. Thanks in advance.

 

[bqknight]

I guess my point is that if the LGBT community wants to embrace ball-gags and assless chaps that's fine, but dont be surprised if a lot of people have that view of you and are disgusted by the whole group. It's just that for me personally, I would rather judge someone by what's in their heart, not what they do in the bedroom.

But that's the thing - that sort of stuff isn't the "normal day of a gay guy" stuff. We go to work, have families and live our lives exactly like straight people. A certain aspect of SOME people's lives is sensationalized and made into a way bigger deal than it is - because well - it's something that's easy to sensationalize.

I see drunk straight people basically f*cking in clubs when they're wasted, girls with giant tits and very little clothing is celebrated by tons of men.

You're focusing on something that's so small within the community instead of focusing on the normal day to day lives of me (and other LGBT) people.

 

[bqknight]

Thanks for sharing. I'm curious, what do you think accounted for your mom having lots of gay friends yet at the same time, you perceiving that she wasn't okay with your decision to come out as someone who had a same sex attraction?

How sure are you that she really wasn't okay with it even though she said otherwise? Did your dad have the same approach? You think since that time your relationship with your mom and dad has improved for stagnated or even deteriorated?

You don't have to answer any of these questions. I realize they are very personal. But I want to better understand this subject and since you've been open about it already I figure I would ask. Thanks in advance.

No worries - I'm an open book. It probably had to do with when I came out - it still wasn't as mainstream as it is today. Marriage was not legal. She had friends who died from the AIDS crisis. She knew my life would be harder. She loved me - but you can tell it caused her stress. She called my boyfriend's "friends" to others for quite some time until I told her if she wanted me to continue to come home she would call them my boyfriend and stop hiding it.

Since then it has become much better. I'm married now and he's 100% part of the family. I think once she saw that I was truly happy and was able to live a normal life - she was happy. She goes to pride festivals and is a very vocal supporter of LGBT rights.

I'm not as close to my dad (they're divorced) - but he's 100% fine with it. He's always been more laissez-faire - do whatever you want type of person anyway.

 

[Crazyhole]

But that's the thing - that sort of stuff isn't the "normal day of a gay guy" stuff. We go to work, have families and live our lives exactly like straight people. A certain aspect of SOME people's lives is sensationalized and made into a way bigger deal than it is - because well - it's something that's easy to sensationalize.

I see drunk straight people basically f*cking in clubs when they're wasted, girls with giant tits and very little clothing is celebrated by tons of men.

You're focusing on something that's so small within the community instead of focusing on the normal day to day lives of me (and other LGBT) people.

I agree with all of that, and it's not me that focuses on it I'm just saying that some people do and it's an unfair representation of the gay community. Imagine a church holding wet t-shirt contests. It would be a small part of what that church stands for, but many people would only focus on that one aspect and it would define that church because it's so provocative.

 

[NinjaKnight]

I agree with all of that, and it's not me that focuses on it I'm just saying that some people do and it's an unfair representation of the gay community. Imagine a church holding wet t-shirt contests. It would be a small part of what that church stands for, but many people would only focus on that one aspect and it would define that church because it's so provocative.

What's up with you and Wayne using butthole stupid analogies? Is that like the requirement to get into your racist ignorant white guy club?

 

[UCFKnight85]

Is it your business?

Of course it is, only Shook Chicken is allowed to have an opinion. Not you.

 

[bqknight]

I agree with all of that, and it's not me that focuses on it I'm just saying that some people do and it's an unfair representation of the gay community. Imagine a church holding wet t-shirt contests. It would be a small part of what that church stands for, but many people would only focus on that one aspect and it would define that church because it's so provocative.

Why is that my problem though? Gays should change their behavior because other people are too narrow minded to realize that what they're seeing on TV is a party and not every day life?

 

[btbones]

Aight, so yes, I’ve been drinking. But I want to address this. I’ve been around here for awhile.

I honestly don’t think some of y’all get it. I will gladly admit, I have always grown up with a very supportive family. My mother had tons of gay friends through my childhood.

Even then, coming out was SCARY. My mom said she was okay. But she wasn’t. You could tell, both my parents struggled. If I had to go through that, I could barely imagine what others must go through.

That’s why we gays celebrate, that’s why get so up in arms over things. I’m not saying I have it even close to the worst in this world (I love my life now) but being gay is hard.

-BQ

So about 3 years ago my best friend called me and my wife to their house to talk , said it was important and wanted no one else around . They both grew up in super conservative, religious backgrounds . My wife and I had already realized their daughter was gay . They were upset , scared , my buddy was even angry at the girlfriend . Our girls went everywhere with the daughter and friends . They were concerned about us being upset or something . That’s not us . We talked a lot with them . He finally came around . We put on an incredible wedding for them . Now they are all a big happy family again . I’ve never had any issue whatsoever with anyone that’s gay . My wife and I have been friends with plenty enough folks who were gay to think we understood . But watching this family go through what they did gave me a whole different perspective and understanding of the struggle that this community goes through . It was a learning experience for all of us . Might be a terribly written post but I hope it lends some perspective . You think you know but you really don’t until you are a part of it . Families get torn apart . It shouldn’t be that way but it often is