It's always been effective in the past. Ignore the tit for tat where you have a couple of guys killed, then a couple of theirs are killed, and perpetuate the cycle. I say just ignore as much as we can, but if they cross the line then unleash hell. If you know, and they know, exactly who would win the fight then don't be afraid of sending a real message.The whole point of retaliation is to make it crystal clear to the enemy that there are consequences to an attack against us. We don't want our brave men and women to be a target.
On the other hand, your "totally disproportionate level of force" scares the hell out of me. You're gambling that such an action doesn't incite a full-scale war. I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we DON'T want.