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Breaking News: Mac McWilliams disavows earlier comments

goodKNIGHTnurse

Bronze Knight
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Oct 10, 2005
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Wire Services- Orlando

UCF defensive back Mac McWilliams called a hurried news conference in order to refute comments attributed to him earlier
in the week. “Man, that wasn’t me saying the players weren’t locked in and unprepared for Colorado. I don’t know who would
make up such stupid comments”. When reminded that he was at the podium during the weekly presser and had been
videotaped and recorded, McWilliams paused, began perspiring, and then loudly claimed it was in fact his doppelgänger
who had made said comments. “Look at the tape”, McWilliams insisted, I am much more handsome than that impersonator,
just ask my girlfriends, they’ll tell you”. Also, “why would I take a dump on my teammates like that”?, have you guys seen RJ Harvey
without a shirt on”? Dude could rip out my spleen with his bare hands if he felt I disrespected him”.

McWilliams continued, “I love Coach Gus, yeh his offense is stuck in a 1990’s time warp and his buddy Coach Roof, man, don’t
even get me started on trying to explain how that guy is a DC at a major college. But hey, Coach Gus flashed some mad paper at me to
come play ball at this crap school, I mean University”. McWilliams concluded, “ I just wanted to set the record straight and let everyone
know we are locked in and prepared to play a great game Saturday against the Gators. Now if you will excuse me, I want to get back to my
room and smoke a joint, I mean dig into this week’s playbook”.
 
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