So, it's ok for married people to have an affair?
No. I said the new generation has that attitude, overwhelmingly. I.e., that occasional affairs can be allowed.
Unfortunately that is leading to an increase in STD infection rate, once again. So, what Gen-Y will go through is a bit of an exposure, and I think the end will be more honesty and responsibility.
But for now ... the retiring Baby Boomers love their network news sexual gossip. So the network news, and even Internet news, social media, etc... caters to that. Most news is built upon people who watch TV for 8+ hours, usually retirees.
It'll be interesting to watch what happens after the Boomers die off. Gen-X is still recovering from the AIDS scare, and that's why our rates of affairs, and even more so, STD infection rates are abnormally down.
You'd be ok with your spouse having an affair?
It wouldn't be an affair if she told me before she did.
And that's the thing anyone will tell you who have been married awhile. It's not the cheating. It's the fact that your spouse couldn't be honest about their sexual desires and needs, and took it outside the relationship.
We've gone from the sexual revolution to woman's rights to the explosion of STDs to the retardation and (slight) increase in fidelity (all while women reached "parity" in cheating, around 20%, as men by the late '80s) to a new generation that is embracing infrequent, but allowed, external affairs (with a new bump in STDs infection rates).
I thought one of the rules of getting married is that you stop "dating" other people.
What "rules" are there? Who defines these "rules"?
As I hinted in the Jared thread ... this is an issue for those in the relationship, unless you're committing an act where their is a crime with a victim (e.g., even child pornography requires a minor to be photographed and exploited, and is not victimless).
People are going nuts over this whole thing now ... when the reality is, people have a problem they didn't deal with before. But because people are obsessed with gossip, it sticks.
But I noted in 20 years, everything will change. Again, the Boomers will be largely dead or dying off, and the new generation will be dealing with a re-explosion of STD infection rates -- because affairs will move from the historic 20% to beyond 50% (at least if the surveys are correct), forcing a more open, honest, transparent look at "sexual desires" (and related responsibility).
Or you and your spouse become swingers.
There are far more options than just that. It's up to the couple to decide that for themselves.
But they do that ... together. Otherwise, they really aren't a couple. And people shouldn't get into relationships unless they want to involve the other person.
Which is why all of the sexual gossip is so rampant. Because people love to make this about other people, even though they often haven't been honest with themselves. This is usually because humans have one big character flaw they never deal with.
"It's okay for me to do it, because there are worse people doing more things wrong." I see this in the Gen-Y especially, which explains the new attitudes on affairs. But we'll likely have to wait 20 years for most off the Boomers to die off to make this more of a public, exposed issue.
Until then, sites like Ashley Madison will be extremely popular. And we'll still teach kids about "the [subjective] rules" instead of the "Golden [objective] Rule." The US, in general, needs a serious, open, honestly -- responsible -- discussion and exposure of sexual desire, instead of continuing to keep them hidden, with everyone gossiping and blaming others.
