> be @NinjaKnight
> stationed in some shithole northeastern town
> no matches on tinder tonight, 280lb waitress said she’s “having a girls night”
> “heh she’s probably out with some literally inbred chud. how goddamn stupid can you be to blow off a man like me serving his 6th year in ROTC”
> accidentally trigger myself and the intrusive Trump thoughts begin
> get on X, even though it’s owned by a chud billionaire. how goddamn stupid can you be to use it unironically
> debate whether to do it
> gingerly, enter “O” into the search bar
> “it’s now or never,” I think to myself
> indecision looming, I reluctantly fill the rest
> “Orange man bad”
> I crack my knuckles “now this is epic”
> first article is about the latest literally Hitler moment Trump had
> respond to a chud who dared to question the veracity of the claim
> he responds back “yeah whatever fagqot”
> block him faster than he can say “literally so goddamn stupid and inbred”
> announce to the rest of the commenters my act of bravery
> notice picture on my desk of dear friend @DaShuckster
> hold it close. “If only you were here,” I think to myself
> clock running close to midnight
> “it’s time” I say to myself, confidence now coursing through my veins thicker than the Pink Whitney I kicked the night off with
> open up the ucf watercooler, a place where I’m feared and renowned for my penchant to block those I disagree with
> remember the board terrorist, now goes by the name thall. @DaShuckster and I had such a smooth handle on that place before he started to bully us
> I can’t let him know he got the best of me
> maybe if I start and end my post with a 3 emoji combo, he’ll interpret it as me being sure of myself
> copy/paste one of my stock phrases about the GOP. “Amazing,” I think to myself. Heh, I’ll add that to the end of it, I’m feeling good”
> masterpiece complete
> post
