Yeah, that is right around the range I pay for my son in NJ. $1400+ a month... I would love me some $150/wk daycare.
What exactly is the middle class these days?
- Thread starter brahmanknight
- Start date
The difficulty itt is rich/poor is being based on yearly income. It should be based on net wealth. That takes into account spending and saving over multiple years. If you can save, your yearly income accounts for less and less of your overall net wealth and leads to self sufficiency (retirement). The biggest issue is not an income problem, it's a spending problem.
Edit: fat fingered my phone and accidentally posted
This post was edited on 1/28 9:09 AM by Great2BAKnight2
Edit: fat fingered my phone and accidentally posted
This post was edited on 1/28 9:09 AM by Great2BAKnight2
That is insane for 2 kids.
Why not just hire a nanny at that point? If you provide her room and food, I'm sure you could pay her $25K a year in salary and save money vs what you're doing now.
I know a mother of 2 who pays $40K per year to send 2 kids to Goddard in Tampa. Her job pays her like $45K a year. I don't undrstand why more mothers don't choose to simply stay at home, raise the kids, and save all of that money. There's no substitute for a mother raising a child vs. some day care.
Yeah, I laughed at this. For a new born to toddler it is between 180-220 a week for a decent daycare. If someone is paying $150 a week the care provider probably smokes 3 packs a day and checks on the kid in the garage every once in a while.
I pay $135 and my daughter gets excellent care. You can get deals for in home day cares. And yes its a legit business and shes certified by the state.
I know. But I was trying to be conservative. Hell, I had the mythical family using Cricket Wireless and not buying anybody birthday presents or Christmas presents.
You don't get it because you don't have a child, no offense meant - just the honest response.
My son was raised by his Mother for the first 16 months of his life in Switzerland (although there was one month where we put him in day care there). It caused a lot of frustration in the household - this is our personal situation, so definitely not applicable to everyone. I'd come home, I'd be exhausted from work, Mom was exhausted from being with a baby all day - both needing a lot of attention - it was a challenge to say the least, and caused a lot of undue frustration.
But the real issue I would say to your post is the last line: "There's no substitute for a mother raising a child vs. some day care." This could not be more wrong in 95% of the cases out there, no offense to anyone that chooses this over the alternative - to each their own - but my opinion is that a proper daycare is the way to go. One: unless the mother has a master's degree (or undergrad at best) in early childhood development - they are going to miss out on a lot of critical times to provide critical lessons to a child of that age. Two: even more important still, social development (which is one of the pillars of early childhood development) and this can't be substituted with hanging out daily at the park or where other children congregate.
From first hand experience, I can tell you that once my son got into a class among his peers (that is a leader in childhood development) his language skills absolutely exploded - we saw results within the first two weeks. Anecdotally, I have a close friend who's son is 8 months older than mine, within a month of attending his current daycare my son's social skills and language skills surpassed that of the older child that is not in any formalized day care.
I'm absolutely convinced that anyone with the means to put their children in one of the better day care programs should do it. Studies among these schools show time and time again that they are far above their peers in virtually all dimensions by the time they enter kindergarten.
This post was edited on 1/28 2:55 PM by KnightedIbis
I'm sorry but it's absurd to say that a kid should go to daycare vs. being raised by his mother if the mother doesn't possess some type of masters degree in early childhood development. Maybe she would need to supplement that home care with activities that are well beyond the home, as you said, but there's no way to say a mother's upbringing is worse than a day care.
Plus, simply sending your kid to a place with employees boasting masters degrees doesn't mean they'll actually get superior care. I know plenty of people with master's degrees that don't actually excel at anything.
As with everything there is a middle.
1) No 2 kids should be raised exactly the same way. You raise each child how they dictate they need to be raised. Parenting is an art not a skill.
2) Most of those daycares that tout their teachers have 20% of their teachers meeting that criteria while the rest of the people in the room passed a background check. It doesn't mean they aren't good child care providers, they just don't have paperwork above a driver's license and a clean record.
3) Part of being a good parent involves being able to separate yourself from the role of parent occasionally to recharge. Day care workers do it for 10 hours a day and then have the other 14 free of that role. Stay at home moms don't get the break. So they burn out or they get into ruts which is why you see structured day care programs being able to advance the kids so fast. They get smoke breaks and coffee breaks and pee breaks. Stay at home mom doesn't.
It isn't that they are better than mom, they are just different and another set of eyes, ears, etc. I was a stay at home dad for 2 years while I was getting my business off of the ground. It was harder than any job I have done, but we supplemented my time with a 2-3 hour program 2 days a week. Hardly child care, but it was a break from the routine and that was what was needed for both of us. Sometimes I just took a nap in the parking lot for the 2 hours, others I did work and others I ran errands.
I don't think a master's degree is all it is, I mentioned an undergraduate as well - and I'm not under any disillusion that all of the staff at my son's school has these qualifications, but the program itself is very structured and well designed by those with years and year of education and experience in the field.
Besides, the fact of the education of the mother doesn't cover the social development piece anyway, which I feel is the number one benefit. And while you can get away with substituting social interactions with activities during the week (most times at a cost), personally I have more confidence with continued interaction with peers in a structured setting.
I agree with, GDS, no two children are the same - nor are any two families. It is my opinion, but I can say from first hand experience with my family and child - the money spent is well worth the value my family and child obtains. Naturally, I'd be more than happy for that price to go down.
Oh yeah, one thing I didn't mention - our cost includes food for him while he's there - and they have a very good and balanced meal plan. Way better than we could do on our own.
This post was edited on 1/28 4:53 PM by KnightedIbis
I agree most if not 100% of what you are saying. The extra cost for the good daycare is well worth it. My son knew his colors and could count to 5 well before I expected it and well before many of the other kids that don't go to the same daycare.
I was privileged with being a stay at home dad for a few months after I was laid off. He was roughly 9 months old. I do not wish that daily life on anyone. It is exactly like it is described, never ending. Always cleaning, always cooking, always on, and the house was still a disaster. The only me-time was during naps or bedtime, but that time was spent doing other chores. I can't imagine a 2-3 year old at home, trying to keep them entertained, keep them learning. Constant interaction is impossible.
The daycare is very structured with activities planned for every day. Stories, playground time, blocks, writing, coloring, crafts, languages, math, PE, games, social interaction, music, etc. There is virtually no way for a stay at home mom to provide all of that without a team of people doing the cleaning, food prep, and planning.
He is learning a ton, is way more advanced than other kids his age that don't go to daycare, and he is learning social skills and individuality. He doesn't need his parents for every task, game, or problem. He can figure it out on his own, with his friends, or the other responsible adults in his life.
You won't understand until you have kids. Like it has been said before, every kid and family is different. I'm sure there are some super moms out there that can give everything that a daycare can, but those that I know, staying at home with a kid is more out of financial necessity than wanting to give their kids great motherly care. And while I'm sure the care they give is superb, the learning and social aspects of a daycare just can't be met.
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