You're either a troll (at best) or completely ignorant (at worst). I don't know you from Adam, Sir G, but you sound very much like me several years ago. I had a close friend of mine that spiraled into a deeply dark place. I had known this friend for quite some time and the person they "became" was not the person I had known for the majority of that time. I ignored the warning signs, the silent cries for help and the signs that something terrible might happen. Then one day I was given the news that he connected a hose to his tailpipe and sat in his car in the garage until he finally escaped the torture going on within his brain. Unfortunately, that's the narrative that I now understand; but not the conclusion I drew at the time. Selfish, asshole, narcissist, loser, weak-minded were some of the adjectives I used immediately after his death.
Fast forward several years and my brother-in-law is finally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He'll be 40 this year and he's been in and out of hospitals, treatment centers, halfway houses...you name it...for close to 20 years. Sadder yet is that for the majority of those 20 years he was misdiagnosed. He's been in Betty Ford, Austen Riggs and some other very, very costly centers and most got it wrong. I'm not a mental health expert, so I can only speculate as to reasons he was misdiagnosed; but, the great news (if you can even call it that) is that he's been accurately diagnosed now and his cocktail of prescriptions (one of which is a time-released, monthly injection) seems to be keeping him in balance. Well, as balanced as one can expect to be given his medical situation. He'll never be able to live on his own again. He'll likely never hold a meaningful job (despite graduating Cum Laude from a renowned college). He'll never have a family outside of those that he knows now.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't understand mental illness until living through my brother-in-law's situation. I have many times thought deeply about my old friend and apologized to him for not understanding the untreated demons he was battling. Had I understood things better - rather than casting him off as someone going through the blues, a crybaby, someone who couldn't deal with the rigors of every day life - could I have been the one to alter the course of history? Who knows? Likely not, but I can't sit here today with good conscience and tell myself that I did everything in my power. I didn't reach out. I wasn't a friend. I was the selfish, narcissistic, weak-minded asshole. I don't like thinking about silver linings, but living through the pain and torture that my brother-in-law has experienced for his entire adult life has forced me to become a more informed individual and I empathize with those going through mental health challenges (whether directly or indirectly). It has, at times, torn our family apart and I'm shocked that my wife has any tears left in her body after all of these years.
Bottom line: I'm very, very sorry for the loss of your father and your brother. You're correct, they didn't choose to be diagnosed with heart issues or cancer, much like my brother-in-law and my close friend didn't choose to be diagnosed with their maladies either. My hope is that there's someone out there that already has their head up their ass (like I did) that will rethink their position and do a little research on the matter so that they don't have to learn the way I did.